When I was CEO of the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute, I was invited to attend a dinner in Madison, Wisconsin. I was part of a gathering of scientists, leaders, and teachers and it was the evening before a scheduled talk by the Dalai Lama. I was fortunate enough to be assigned a seat next to Bill George, author of Discover Your True North and a professor at the Harvard Business School. During our dinner conversation, he shared some experiences of working closely with numerous Fortune 500 CEOs and high-level executives.
Bill was surprised to discover a pattern in nearly all of the leaders he worked with — in order to shift from being a good leader to becoming a great one, it was necessary for them to get in touch with their own deep sense of pain, vulnerability, humility, and occasionally a deep sense of shame. This might mean simply acknowledging the pain of being human, or the pain of feeling like they had let others down. Or it could be pain from difficult, imperfect childhoods, failed relationships, or traumatic events.
Like many of us, the leaders he came into contact with tended to cover up their pain rather than open to it. But when they allowed themselves to experience their pain, these executives were able to get a glimpse of how freeing up energy and feelings that were being held close allowed them to be more authentic, caring, and effective leaders.
I’m often asked why we’re seeing upsurge in interest in mindfulness, meditation, and emotional intelligence among executives and business people. My two-word answer to this question is Pain and Possibility:
- the pain of what isn’t working, the pain of change, and ultimately the pain of sickness, old age, and death; the pain of being human is something we all know…
- which leads to possibility; by acknowledging, embracing, and learning from our pain, we can find a deeper sense of satisfaction, joy, and forge more intimate, connected relationships – at work and in all parts of our lives.
There is SO much possibility, to find joy and connection in the midst of our suffering, and to work toward greater understanding and compassion, toward solving the real world problems of injustice and inequity.